People often come to me after 25, 30 or 40 years of marriage and say that they are not sure whether they want a divorce. What they do know is that something has to change, and they are worried about what separation might mean for their home, pension and standard of living.
That is perfectly understandable. You may have spent decades building a financial life together. Retirement may be approaching, your earning years may be limited and the thought of one household becoming two can be frightening.
Seeking legal advice does not mean that you have decided to end your marriage. It simply allows you to understand your position, the options available and the possible effect of each option on your home, pension and future financial security.
You may have heard the term “grey divorce” used for separation or divorce among older couples. I do not think there is a particular age at which the issues suddenly change. The same concerns can arise in your 50s, 60s or 70s, particularly after a long marriage or where substantial assets have been built up.
Considering Divorce Does Not Commit You to Proceeding
I am sometimes asked whether simply meeting a solicitor “starts something”. It does not. Speaking to a family law solicitor does not commit you to issuing proceedings or even to separating. Some people take advice and proceed. Others decide not to, or at least not yet.
A solicitor cannot tell you whether you should remain married. That is a deeply personal decision and, where both spouses are willing, marriage counselling may be helpful. What we can do is explain the legal differences between continuing as you are, living separately, entering into a separation agreement, applying for judicial separation or eventually seeking a divorce.
Why Separation Can Feel More Difficult Later in Life
After a long marriage, finances are rarely straightforward. One spouse may have earned most of the income while the other looked after the home or children. A family business may support both spouses. Property, savings and pensions may have been built up over decades, even if they are held in one person’s name.
There is also less time to recover from a poor financial settlement. Someone approaching retirement may have fewer opportunities to increase their earnings, rebuild savings or replace pension benefits. The settlement has to work now, but it also has to work when both spouses are in their 70s or 80s.
What Does an Irish Court Consider?
One of the most common questions I hear is whether everything will simply be split 50/50. Ireland does not apply an automatic 50/50 formula to every divorce. The court must be satisfied that proper provision has been made for both spouses and any dependent members of the family.
The matters considered can include each spouse’s income, property, financial resources, needs, responsibilities and earning capacity. Age, health, the duration of the marriage, the family’s standard of living and the contributions made by each spouse can also be relevant. Contributions include looking after the home and caring for the family, not only paid employment.
Citizens Information provides a useful overview of the conditions for divorce in Ireland and the orders a court can make. Every case still turns on its own facts. Two marriages of the same length can produce very different settlements because the people, assets and needs involved are different.
You can read more in our guide to how assets are divided in a divorce in Ireland.
Does Divorce Have to Mean a Contested Court Case?
Every divorce in Ireland must ultimately be granted by a court. However, that does not mean every financial issue has to be fought out before a judge.
Couples may reach terms through solicitor-led negotiation, mediation or discussions between themselves, with each spouse taking separate legal advice. If an agreement is reached, the proposed terms can be presented to the court and the relevant orders made on consent.
The judge must still be satisfied that proper provision has been made for both spouses and any dependent children. This is particularly important after a long marriage where pensions, property or business interests may be difficult to value.
Reaching agreement can reduce the cost, delay and strain involved, but it should follow full financial disclosure and a proper understanding of the long-term consequences. Our guide to uncontested divorce in Ireland explains what happens when the main terms have been agreed.
Can I Afford to Separate or Divorce Later in Life?
This is often the first practical concern, and it is a perfectly reasonable one. A couple may have a valuable home and substantial assets on paper but relatively little money available each month. To be blunt, one household may now have to support two sets of housing, insurance, utility and day-to-day costs.
We need to look at whether the proposed arrangements would leave both spouses with suitable housing, sufficient income and reasonable security over the years ahead. The family home, other properties, mortgages, savings, investments, pensions, business interests, debts and expected retirement income may all come into the picture. Cash flow matters too. You cannot pay an electricity bill with the paper value of a pension or a house.
Our article on financial settlements in divorce in Ireland explains the types of orders that may form part of an overall settlement.
What Happens to the Family Home?
For many people considering divorce later in life, the family home is far more than a figure on a balance sheet. It may have been the family’s home for decades. I completely understand why one or both spouses may feel very strongly about keeping it.
Whether that is practical depends on the wider financial position. One spouse may be able to buy out the other’s interest, possibly using savings or by offsetting the other spouse’s interest against a larger share of another asset. In other cases, neither spouse can afford to retain the home while also providing suitable accommodation for the other. A sale may then have to be considered.
There are two separate affordability questions. First, can the spouse raise the money needed to buy out the other’s interest and, where necessary, refinance the mortgage? Borrowing capacity can be a particular problem later in life because retirement, reduced income or a lender’s affordability requirements may restrict the amount available. Any proposed transfer will also require the lender’s agreement where a mortgage remains on the property.
Second, can that spouse afford to maintain the home while meeting their everyday expenses over the longer term? A person may own substantial equity but have insufficient income to manage the mortgage, insurance, repairs and other household costs.
There is no automatic rule that one spouse keeps the property or that it must be sold. The practical options will depend on the value of the home, the mortgage, each spouse’s income and housing needs, and the other assets available. Our guide to who gets the house in a divorce examines the main factors in more detail.
Pensions May Be as Valuable as the Home
The pension is often the asset nobody asks about at the beginning. People naturally focus on where they are going to live and how they will manage from month to month. Yet when a marriage ends later in life, a defined benefit or public sector pension built up over a long career may be worth as much as, or more than, the equity in the family home.
The fact that a pension is in one spouse’s name does not mean that it will be ignored. There is no automatic entitlement to half, but its value can form part of the overall financial picture. The court may make a Pension Adjustment Order where pension benefits are to be allocated to the other spouse. Substantial or complex pensions may also need to be valued by an actuary.
You might decide that keeping the family home is more important to you than making a claim against your spouse’s pension. That may be a reasonable choice, but it should be made with a proper understanding of what is being given up. A house provides accommodation, while a pension provides future income. Looking only at the headline values can give a very incomplete picture.
Our guide to pensions and divorce in Ireland explains Pension Adjustment Orders and the importance of long-term planning. Our case study on the value of pensions in divorce shows how a public sector pension changed the apparent financial balance between two high-earning spouses.
Income, Maintenance and Future Earning Capacity
A substantial difference in current income does not decide the settlement by itself. We also need to ask why that difference exists, whether it is likely to continue and what resources each spouse will have in retirement.
One spouse may have reduced their working hours, left employment or limited their career to care for children and the home. After a long marriage, returning to the workforce at the same earning level may not be realistic. Spousal maintenance may therefore be relevant where there is a continuing income imbalance, although it is not awarded in every case.
Savings, Investments, Businesses and Other Property
After a long marriage, there can be far more involved than the home and pensions. There may be investment properties, shares, substantial savings, inherited assets, farms or a family business. Before anyone can sensibly discuss a settlement, we need to establish what exists, who owns it and what it is worth.
A business may provide the family’s income while also being a valuable asset in its own right. It cannot always be neatly divided or sold without damaging the income on which one or both spouses depend. A professional valuation may be needed, particularly where money is retained in the company, ownership is shared with other people or the spouses disagree about its value.
Tax also needs to be considered before assets are transferred or sold. An arrangement that appears fair before tax may produce a different result once the costs and tax treatment are understood. Our guide to the tax implications of divorce in Ireland explains some of the main issues.
Divorce in Your 50s, 60s and After Retirement
The law does not suddenly change when you turn 50, 60 or 70. The practical priorities often do.
Divorce in Your 50s
In your 50s, you may still have significant earning years ahead, but retirement is no longer some distant concern. There may be a mortgage, children in secondary school or college, business interests and pensions that are becoming increasingly valuable. The decisions made now can affect whether you can buy another home, continue making pension contributions and retire when you had planned.
Divorce in Your 60s
In your 60s, retirement may be approaching or may already have begun. There is usually less scope to replace capital or pension benefits through future work. Can two households be supported? When can the pensions be drawn down? Can either spouse actually afford to keep the family home? These questions tend to become much more immediate.
Divorce After Retirement
After retirement, both spouses may be living mainly on pensions and investment income. Housing, regular income, health costs and access to cash may matter more than owning assets that are valuable but difficult to use. Wills, beneficiaries and estate planning will also need to be reviewed.
What About Adult Children?
People sometimes assume that divorce will be easier because the children are grown up. That is not always the case. Parents may worry about how to tell them, whether they will feel expected to take sides and what will happen at family occasions.
Adult children do not decide how their parents’ assets are divided. However, the needs of a child who remains legally dependent, including in certain circumstances because of full-time education or disability, may still have to be considered. In my experience, asking adult children to carry messages, comment on the settlement or choose between their parents usually makes an already difficult situation worse.
Wills, Death Benefits and Future Care
Divorce also changes succession rights. A divorced spouse will normally no longer have an automatic legal right share in their former spouse’s estate. However, existing wills, life policies, pension nominations and death-in-service benefits should still be reviewed to make sure they reflect what each person intends after the divorce.
Health and future care costs may also become more immediate later in life. If either spouse has an existing health condition, requires adapted housing or may need paid care, this should be considered when assessing whether a proposed settlement will make proper provision for the years ahead.
You can read more in our guide to inheritance and divorce in Ireland.
Information to Gather Before Making Any Decisions
You do not need to arrive at an initial consultation with a perfect file and every figure established. Most people do not. It is helpful to start identifying the family’s main financial resources and obligations.
These may include the family home and other properties, outstanding mortgages, bank accounts, savings, investments, pensions, life policies, business interests, income, loans and significant expected expenses. Recent statements and approximate values can help a solicitor understand which issues require closer examination.
It is very common for one spouse to say, “I have never dealt with the finances. I do not really know what we have.” There is no shame in that, but you should not agree a settlement based on incomplete information. Proper financial disclosure is central to reaching a fair and workable outcome.
Questions to Ask Before Agreeing a Settlement
Before accepting any proposed agreement, consider the following questions:
- Can I afford suitable housing and normal living expenses under this proposal?
- What income will I have now and after retirement?
- Have all pensions been identified and properly valued?
- Am I giving up future pension income to retain an asset that I may struggle to afford?
- Have all properties, savings, investments, debts and business interests been disclosed?
- What tax, valuation or professional costs could arise?
- Does the agreement deal with both immediate needs and the position ten or twenty years from now?
I fully understand the attraction of an agreement that brings the dispute to an end. However, relief at getting matters settled should not prevent you from asking whether the agreement will still work in ten or twenty years. The financial consequences need to be understood before it is approved by the court.
Frequently Asked Questions
Am I too old to get divorced in Ireland?
There is no upper age limit for divorce. You must satisfy the normal legal conditions, including the required period of living apart. Age can still affect the financial arrangements because retirement income, health, housing and future earning capacity may become more significant.
How do I manage financially if I divorce in my 60s?
Start by establishing the complete financial position before deciding whether any proposal is affordable. The home, pensions, income, savings, debts and regular expenses need to be considered together. Legal advice can explain how a settlement might be structured, while financial and pension advice may be needed for the detailed retirement figures.
Are assets split 50/50 after a long marriage?
There is no automatic 50/50 division. The court looks at whether proper provision has been made in the particular circumstances. The length of the marriage is relevant, but it is considered alongside the spouses’ resources, needs, contributions, ages and earning capacities.
Can I remain in the family home?
Possibly. It depends on whether the overall arrangement can provide suitable housing and financial security for both spouses. Keeping the home may involve buying out the other spouse, transferring other assets or taking responsibility for the mortgage and other ongoing costs.
What happens if I have little or no pension of my own?
The difference between the spouses’ retirement provision can be considered as part of the settlement. A Pension Adjustment Order may be made in appropriate cases, or the pension difference may influence how other assets are dealt with.
Can I speak to a solicitor without deciding to divorce?
Yes. An initial consultation is confidential and does not commit you to taking proceedings. Its purpose is to help you understand your legal and financial position before deciding what, if anything, you wish to do.
How The Family Practice Can Help
At The Family Practice, we regularly advise people who are considering separation or divorce after a long marriage and are worried about what it may mean financially. These cases often involve family homes, pensions, businesses, investments and other substantial assets. We can help establish the complete financial position, identify where valuation or actuarial advice is needed and explain the likely effect of the different options.
Our job is not to persuade you to divorce or to make the decision for you. It is to be honest about your position, including the parts you may not want to hear, so that you can make a properly informed choice. If you are considering separation or divorce after a long marriage, contact us to arrange a confidential consultation.
*The information on this page is for general awareness only and does not constitute legal advice. Family law outcomes depend on individual circumstances and judicial discretion. You should not rely on this content when making decisions and should seek advice from a qualified solicitor about your specific situation.
Contact Us for Expert Family Law Advice
If you are in need of a Family Law Solicitor in Dublin in a divorce where there are assets involved, please contact us at The Family Practice.
Jeremy Ring is a senior family law solicitor and co-founder of The Family Practice in Dublin.
Over his 15-year career, he has advised clients in divorce and separation cases involving combined assets exceeding €10 million, including business valuations, pensions, and inherited property.
