I have been separated from my wife for 7 or 8 years. We simply grew apart and I moved out of the family home. We were both doing well financially and I had moved into another property that we owned. We have one child who has grown up and moved out. We used to get on reasonably well but never went through the legalities about getting a divorce. I recently met someone new and realise that all my financial assets and pensions are tied to a person I no longer speak to. I need to sort my situation out.
When this gentleman approached us, he was in a bit of a bind similar to a lot of situations we encounter. He had been avoiding going about formalising his separation from his spouse as he didn’t want the inevitable stressful fallout that would inevitably occur when he initiated legal proceedings. He didn’t want to revisit the difficult times that he had when he initially left the family home. He was also worried about how his grown-up son would feel when he started this course of action as he enjoyed an excellent relationship with him. Equally, he felt that he couldn’t move on with his new life and new relationship unless he grasped the nettle and started legal proceedings.
We advised that yes there would be an initial feeling of resentment from his wife and perhaps his son but advised that hopefully, this would pass and that ultimately he had to protect his own future interests. We advised in the normal way that he would first of all be obliged to complete a statement of all his assets and liabilities and incomings and outgoings. We explained how to do it and explained that we would be writing to his wife advising her that we were instituting Divorce Proceedings and that she should bring the correspondence to the attention of her legal advisors. We advised him that hopefully, she would engage an experienced family law solicitor as we had found that in those circumstances the case would be progressed more quickly and with more likelihood of a settlement.
We further advised that approximately 80% of cases do settle in advance of the hearing date and if that occurred he would not have to give evidence and be cross-examined by his wife’s solicitor. He was also quite concerned about his legal fees and asked whether he would be held responsible for his wife’s legal fees. We set his mind at ease that he is never responsible for his wife’s legal fees and that our fees were transparent and, while expensive, were based purely on the amount of work involved in the case. We said that if he and his wife dealt with this amicably, then there was no need for this to become prohibitively expensive.
Fortunately for us, our client was aware that we could only be successful if we worked as a team and he was very forthcoming in providing his statement of means and all documentation required to vouch this information. He initially was reticent but understood when we explained that we required the same from his wife as both solicitors had to do their jobs and establish to each of their satisfaction the extent of the family pot to be divided. Despite our efforts, the case did drag on longer than anticipated because we were required to go to court to force his wife to provide certain documentation which we felt was necessary. Ultimately the parties and their legal teams met for a settlement meeting in the Family Court Complex and after a good length of time, a settlement regarding the houses, the pensions, and the bank accounts was reached. Ultimately our client had to make the decision that it was better to make a settlement he could live with rather than go to court and have a set of circumstances imposed upon him that he couldn’t live with. Fifteen months after our consultation our client attended court and the terms of the settlement were ruled by the court. Shortly thereafter, houses were transferred and his pension adjustment orders were completed, the lump sum payments were made and the job was complete. We spoke to him and having spoken to other clients in similar positions he echoed the common feeling that he felt more free and now in control of his future.
