Deciding to separate is never easy, especially with the emotional weight it carries and the well-being of children to consider, and when there are assets involved. Ireland once had a very traditional view of separation, often accompanied by societal judgment. But times have changed. The required separation period for divorce has shortened dramatically and it is much more common now.
Despite these changes, separation in Ireland remains a complex process that can be both lengthy and emotionally draining. It’s a significant step, marking the end of a partnership and the start of a new chapter. Our focus is to demystify this process, providing a beacon of understanding and support for those navigating these uncharted waters, helping them move forward with greater ease and clarity.
Yes, it is generally better to come to an agreement. This does come with a caveat that both parties have equal knowledge of their legal rights and there is equality between both sides in their bargaining power. So I will explain that when both sides are represented by competent family law solicitors, we would always say that it is better to have an agreement or settlement that you can live with rather than have a situation foisted upon you by a judge that you cannot live with. We would always advise that in any divorce that both parties situation will be worse after being divorced so there are no winners. It goes without saying where children are involved (but in any case) that having an agreement that both parties agree they can live with and comply with is an important factor that will allow the parties to engage in a civil manner over the ensuing years. This is in addition to the reduction in legal costs when an agreement is reached. Contrast this when one of the spouses has felt controlled during the entirety of the marriage and now their spouses wants them to sign an agreement distributing the marital assets in an unfair manner. This would obviously be a situation where an agreement would not be advisable and this person would be better retaining a family law solicitor, getting acquainted with their legal rights and having their solicitor deal with their soon to be ex spouse directly.
To apply for a divorce or judicial separation in Ireland, you need to attend court. There is a process in Ireland whereby the spouses attend a mediation service by themselves and agree on the rules of how they are going to live apart and how they are generally going to live financially. There is in addition a process whereby both parties engage a solicitor and enter into a contract on how the assets and finances of the marriage are divided. In practical terms both these solutions are not very useful as if any party does not comply with the agreement, there is no practical mechanism to enforce the agreement. I have previously discussed this in the following article on separation agreements which you can find here.
Most marriage breakdowns are not sudden. There is usually a long process of attempted reconciliation and marriage counselling before ultimately the decision is made by one or both parties to end the marriage. It is often said by clients that is the most difficult decision that they will ever have to make. The feelings experienced are supposed to be like that experienced whenever grief occurs: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. Solicitors are not trained in the counselling, etc required to be provided at this stage of a client’s journey. Counsellors are the best guide in this respect. What I can say is that there is light at the end of this difficult tunnel and peoples lives can improve for the better once they have finished their divorce journey. Once the emotional journey has finished and acceptance has been reached, it may now be time to start the legal process of ending the marriage and all the necessary practical considerations that this involves. It is now when you should start your search for a family law solicitor.
When you are considering or thinking of leaving your spouse in Ireland, the first port of call should be to engage a marriage counselor. One would be surprised how many enquiries we receive from people in just such a situation. It is premature. Your legal rights are not a factor to be taken into account in deciding to end your marriage. It is one of the most momentous decisions that you will ever make and needs a lot of reflection and analysis. Before this decision is taken, discussions should be had with your spouse and a marriage counselor should be engaged. If in time a decision is made by one or both members of the marriage that the relationship is over then consideration should be given to mediation and perhaps at this stage legal advice obtained.
You should primarily not act hastily or in anger. Once you have taken your time and decided to end your marriage, you should pause and consider your options. Before doing anything, especially moving out of the family home, take the advice of an experienced family law solicitor. I would suggest that at this stage if you have any property or pensions together, then you should definitely retain a solicitor. Do not attempt to do this yourself. I would also counsel that you should not be thinking about the legal costs at this stage. This is going to be expensive. Just accept this and move on. Find a solicitor competent and that you can engage with and just accept that there will be fees. This process is going to have a massive effect on the next 10 – 40 years of your life. From where you live, to what you will be living off in your old age. Don’t hire someone because there is a price difference or do it yourself and end up having to spend a lot more fixing the problem.
In Ireland currently, people engage in mediation and have a mediated agreement and this can ultimately (if agreed upon by their solicitors as being fair) be ruled as an order of the court. It is important to remember that separation agreements are just contracts between two parties and cannot affect a third party.
It is for this reason that they are entirely unsuitable for spouses with pensions as no agreement they come to can make the Pension trustee amend a person’s pension. Only a court order can affect this.
You can read more about Separation Agreements in Ireland here.
The Family Practice was set up with a simple mission. To help people through Divorces where assets are involved. Established by experts in the field, we understand how overwhelming divorce cases can be, so our aim is act as your sword and shield, guiding you through the whole process, while also keeping costs down. But first it’s important to know why you need a solicitor when there are assets in the first place.
If you have a property, a pension or other assets and are divorcing, you need a solicitor. The reason is simple. People think that divorces are all about the family home, but in fact other assets, for example a pension, can be even more valuable. The courts know this and want to ensure equity, so any agreement must be court approved. We are experts in this process. Securing the best future for you is our priority.
Find out if we may be able to work together.
Fill out our form in the strictest confidence and we’ll get back to you within 24 hours to discuss if your circumstances are suitable for us to meet with you.
