Facing the Emotional and Legal Challenges of Divorce
When you have decided that your marriage has come to an end, it is obviously a very traumatic and difficult period in your life. After going through the usual denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance cycle of grief, the next step is often exploration of the legal options.
What are the legal ramifications of the divorce? Will I get to keep the house? How long will this take? How much is the divorce going to cost? Eventually, the question is asked: who is going to guide me through this process? The person going through this may not appreciate the significant impact that choosing the correct lawyer has on the next few years of their life and their future financial well-being. They may not appreciate the emotional and financial complexities of the divorce process, especially when there are significant assets involved. Choosing the correct representation can make navigating these challenges much more manageable. So what qualities should we look for?
The Importance of a Specialist in Family Law
First and foremost, I would suggest that the main attribute to seek out is a specialist in family law. I would say that this is massively important. I say this for a number of viewpoints. There is obviously a benefit, the same as everything in life, of using a lawyer who has specialised knowledge involving assets like property and pensions.
It is reassuring that they are completely up to date with the understanding of laws and regulations affecting divorce proceedings. From being in court regularly, they have acquired practical knowledge of court procedures, judges, and relevant case law. They know the regular other lawyers who practice family law and are aware of each firm’s regular practice. What you do not want is the opposite, i.e., someone who may be very talented but is essentially not really comfortable and experienced enough in this arena.
The realities of a normal solicitor’s practice can be far different than a specialist firm of family law solicitors. A general practice most often deals with people buying and selling their houses, administering a probate, or taking a personal injury lawsuit. Most of these types of roles are what could be described as transactional. They are not very personal or emotive. One really wants the job done and that’s it—sell the house, get my due compensation, extract the grant of probate.
The Role of a Specialist Divorce Lawyer in Ireland
As you can imagine, there is a lot more interaction with your divorce solicitor. You will have to spend a lot of time with them and their staff. Family solicitors’ firms are aware of this and prepare for this by training their staff accordingly. They try (emphasise try) to respond to emails and phone calls promptly. There is less urgency in general practice firms to respond to queries about a house sale, etc.
1) Having a Strong Team Behind Them
Generally, a family law solicitor will prioritise having an effective and knowledgeable assistant—or more than one assistant—who can triage most queries and, if not, will say that he/she will pass it on to the solicitor. At least the client feels reassured that someone will revert in time. Effective workload management to devote adequate time to your case is generally a key priority for a specialist solicitor.
2) Effective Communication Skills
The second key attribute is effective communication skills. This again may seem obvious, and one would expect all lawyers to have these skills. Surprisingly, not all do, and a frequent complaint of lawyers is that they speak in jargon. A lawyer who explains legal terms and processes in plain language will greatly help you understand the intricacies of the process.
When you have a meeting with your solicitor, ensure that you actually understand what they are explaining. You are the most important person, and it is paramount that you understand. An equal part of communication is the ability to listen attentively. A lot of legal professionals, understandably, have through practice developed a checklist-type approach to obtaining instructions. Of course, this is fine, and they cannot afford to let the client speak about everything that is on their mind. However, letting the client speak in order to hear their concerns, priorities, and goals is the hallmark of a good family lawyer. This is not taught in law school and is developed through practice.
3) Empathy and Understanding in Divorce Cases
A twin brother of good communication skills is the ability to be empathetic and understanding of a family law client’s emotional challenges. While I must emphasise that your solicitor is not your confidant, counselor, best friend, or emotional support, it is vital that they recognise the emotional toll of going through a divorce. This can also involve some practical advice gained from experience of innumerable similar situations.
It is also important that the firm as a whole provides a supportive environment to share sensitive information. Part of this emotional support is simply that you have a relationship of trust with your legal advisor.
4) Transparency and Integrity: Hallmarks of a Good Divorce Lawyer
This is another key attribute. They should provide you with a realistic assessment of your case, warts and all. This includes being very open about the potential challenges and obstacles. This may, unfortunately, involve them advising you that your ambitions are unrealistic. It would be hoped that you do not shop around until somebody tells you what you want to hear
As part of that transparency, it is hoped that they will provide strategies to achieve realistic outcomes. There is no point in fixing unrealistic expectations that can never be met.
5) Financial Transparency: Understanding the Costs Involved
Less fuzzy but equally important, another attribute is whether they will be clear about their costs. Let’s call a spade a spade: “Divorce solicitors are expensive.” Your marriage was most likely a once-in-a-lifetime event, and so is your divorce. To disentangle yourself from this difficult situation is understandably expensive. To do it well, with as little stress as possible, by engaging a specialist can be even more expensive. I don’t think that lawyers should hide away from this.
One is aware that any specialist consultant in any walk of life is expensive. So, you should be clear, broadly speaking, how much the process is going to cost and what might the additional costs be. Don’t accept the answer, “How long is a piece of string?” The answer is that if you have processed hundreds of these cases, you can have a pretty good idea of the costs and an idea of the potentially expensive landmines that may arise. In today’s world, it would be hoped that most lawyers will accept a stage payment-type method of paying. The key point is that you as the consumer should be left in no doubt about your potential ballpark financial commitment.
Researching and Choosing the Right Divorce Lawyer
I suggest that you take the time to research a solicitor who embodies these qualities. Making the correct choice could make a significant difference in the outcome that you receive. Being represented by someone you have complete faith in and who is responsive and transparent is an invaluable resource to have when proceeding through this difficult situation.
The Impact of Choosing the Wrong Lawyer
Unfortunately, people don’t know what they don’t know. There are a lot of divorce lawyers to choose from and were they to choose the wrong legal representative, one only needs to read any forum to see what this feels like: “never returns calls,” “I don’t know where my case is at,” “I received a massive bill at the end and had no idea it would be so expensive,” “my case is taking far too long as my solicitor is too busy with other areas of practice.”
Facing Divorce with Confidence and Support
With the correct advisor, while acknowledging that divorce is challenging, you will know that you don’t have to face it alone. You will have the peace of mind that, with their support, you can navigate the divorce more smoothly. With this support, you can hopefully move on to the next phase of your life with confidence. If you would like a divorce lawyer you can trust – feel free to contact The Family Practice.
