When facing the prospect of divorce in Ireland, the road ahead can seem daunting. Your family law solicitor is your guide through the maze of legal procedures. This can be a confusing and challenging time so it’s important to have a frank, open chat with your solicitor and to ask the right questions. Here we will address some of the most important questions to ask your divorce lawyer in Ireland.
What is Your Solicitor’s Experience with Divorce:
“What is your experience with cases similar to mine, and can you provide examples of outcomes you’ve achieved?”
As a Family Law Solicitor specialising in Divorce, most solicitors could be dealing with forty to fifty cases every year. With this specialisation, like anything, one can see common aspects in a lot of cases. While each case is most definitely unique to that person, all cases have to proceed through the courts in the exact same way. There are different challenges facing a couple who are going through a separation with young children while living in the same house versus a couple who separated ten years ago and are only now regularising their position.
However, each case generally has the same basic tenets: there has often been an attempt at mediation, they need to assess the marital pool of assets, they need to prove or vouch with documentation the assets and income and they need to attempt to settle or negotiate with their spouse and finally there will be a day in court whether to agree on a settlement or for the judge to hear the case. So as to experience, when one is qualified for 20 years, it is fair to say that it would be unusual that we would not have had experience with a case like yours.
As to the outcomes, one hopes that most cases settle but I would hope that when you engage an experienced solicitor who in turn engages an experienced family law barrister, you will receive the best outcome that you could have achieved.
Questions about Communication and Updates Throughout the Divorce Process:
“How will you communicate with me throughout the divorce process, and how frequently can I expect updates?”
We communicate primarily by email. Most solicitors do. One of the important aspects to remember about Family Law solicitors offices in Ireland is that the majority are quite small. We are not Amazon Prime, Facebook, or Google. We do not have a team of thousands in the background to respond to each client instantaneously.
We treat emails pretty much the same as a letter. We read it and reply depending on the urgency when we have time. Generally, you will often communicate with a legal executive employed by the firm for the more basic interactions such as arranging meetings, swearing a document, sending your marriage certificate, and initially completing an affidavit of means. As to how often the communication is, it depends a lot on what is happening in your case.
As a general rule, communication is not that often at the start but builds progressively as the case unfolds until the conclusion when the case is heard in court. My main advice is to keep in mind what you are paying the solicitor for. This is not for emotional support. There are far cheaper and better-trained people to provide this service. Your Solicitor is there to use his/her experience of the legal process to guide you through the divorce process and achieve for you the best outcome possible in all your circumstances.
So if you are expecting an on-demand service from a family law solicitor in Ireland, you will I fear be disappointed. However, you should expect to know at the start what the process ahead looks like and you should know at each point what is happening with your case at all times. Sometimes the answer could be as mundane as, we are waiting for the entry of appearance from your spouse’s solicitor or we have a motion issued on 24th February to force your spouse to file their Defence and there is nothing we can do until then. Other times it can be that we are waiting on your barrister to draft your proceedings or we are currently reviewing your spouse’s vouching documentation and are raising queries on the documentation provided. There should always be an update.
Divorce Finalization without Court:
“Is it possible to finalize my divorce without going to court if my spouse and I agree on all matters?”
No, this is not possible. Only a court can dissolve a marriage. So no matter whether you have agreed to a mediated agreement yourselves or engaged a solicitor, the case has to be decided ultimately by a judge in court. What is not very well understood is that just because both spouses engage solicitors doesn’t mean that there has to be a Kramer -v- Kramer type dramatic hearing. Keep in mind that once solicitors are involved approximately 80% of cases settle without the need for a full hearing. This means that everything is agreed upon and signed up to by both sides in a meeting and then a court date is obtained (within 4-6 weeks) to simply rule the terms of the settlement.
This is simply a formality where the judge reviews whether the settlement agreed gives adequate provision for both sides (and children where relevant). Sometimes this settlement can take longer to reach and it is only while waiting to have the case heard on the morning of the case that there is finally a meeting of minds. When this happens, the settlement is reduced to writing and ruled on that very day in court.
Post-Consultation Questions with Your Family Law Solicitor:
“If I have additional questions after our consultation, how should I proceed to get them answered?”
I cannot answer for every family law solicitor but there is no difficulty in general in emailing some questions after the meeting. It is only natural that you will have forgotten to ask more than one question. I would warn you that when meeting with your solicitor and also when having your meeting with your solicitor and barrister, you will be provided with a lot of information and it can no doubt be slightly overwhelming. You will be asked a lot of questions about numbers, dates, and amounts and it will be difficult to remember everything.
When you are then being told about what the sequence is, and what the future steps in the process are, it is understandable that you will not recall everything. At the end of the meeting, don’t hesitate to ask questions or repeat questions. There is no such thing as a stupid question. The most honest common answer to a lot of your questions is “I don’t know”. The frustrating thing I see from clients is that they want certainty of what will happen in their case before they issue. Unfortunately, any solicitor can only say that we will issue proceedings and see how the case develops after this. There are a lot of variables as to how long the process will be and what the end result will be.
Questions on Getting a Divorce Without a Solicitor:
“Is it advisable to proceed with a divorce without a solicitor, and under what circumstances might this be appropriate?”
The family courts are slightly improving but they are not easily navigated by a person with no prior knowledge of the Irish legal system. It can appear very archaic and the jargon used can sometimes appear as if a foreign language is being used. But if you have no assets ie no house/business or pension then while difficult, it is something that can be done by yourself. You will no doubt have to be patient and be wary of spending a huge amount of time making mistakes and rectifying them but it is eminently achievable. I would however have the opposite view where you have assets.
I would suggest that it is entirely unwise to attempt to navigate these waters without professional assistance. I think that generally one of the main reasons people do not wish to retain a solicitor is because of price. Generally, I would counter this by saying that you are in the fortunate position of accumulating assets that are worth protecting so why would you not engage someone to protect them? Would you employ a structural engineer if the need arose for your home or attempt to do it yourself? Would you hire a mechanic or fix a car yourself?
In general while no doubt expensive, I would suggest that the money you spend on legal advice is more than recouped by the outcome in your case. It has always amazed me the stress, panic, and hours spent by people who feel they are saving money by representing themselves. We have received innumerable queries from individuals who have attempted a DIY divorce and now wish to engage someone to fix the mess that has been created.
Finally, it appears that sometimes that there is a more insidious reason that solicitors are not engaged ie because one party is bullying another. They will say “We can sort this out ourselves” which is code for “ I want everything my way and I don’t want you to go to a solicitor who will vindicate your rights and stand up to me”. It is sometimes people in these situations who most need another party to stand up for them.
Questions about Communicating With Your Spouse During The Divorce:
“What guidelines should I follow regarding communication with my spouse throughout the divorce process?”
This very much depends on whether you are representing yourself or whether you have engaged the services of a solicitor. Where you represent yourself, obviously it is best to keep things as civil as possible. Where possible I would suggest where terms are being discussed, use email and preferably in a PDF letter format. I would obviously have a lot more to say about when solicitors have been engaged as this is where I have experience.
My words of advice is that if you have a dog, don’t bark yourself. In other words, let all communication come through your solicitor. This has the advantage of simplicity and also can keep relations more harmonious between yourself and your spouse especially when there are children involved. Having a solicitor can shield you from advancing arguments or making a financial claim that you would not like to make yourself in person but that you privately want to put forward. A good solicitor is your sword and shield ie takes the flak sometimes on your behalf and sometimes makes life difficult and makes arguments on your behalf that will potentially upset your spouse.
As a tip, from practice, if spouses are residing together going through a divorce or otherwise just communicating, please do not either pass communications from your solicitor to your spouse or vice versa listen to what your spouse’s solicitor is saying. One would be surprised that this happens but it occurs all too frequently. What ends up happening is that one spouse blames the other spouse’s solicitor for delaying the process which in turn is passed on to the relevant solicitor. It creates needless acrimony in the case and the bottom line is that the process will take whatever time it needs. In addition to that, your solicitor may have made tactical decisions in your case to ask for certain financial assets/pension/house in order to reach your ultimate optimum settlement.
So for example, you may not wish to make a claim on the family home provided you keep your pension. Your solicitor may negotiate with her opposite number by first seeking half the house in the hope of eventually reaching the position of keeping his pension. In this example what commonly happens is that in the course of the settlement negotiations, the wife (in this example) will say he spoke to me a few weeks ago and he says he only wants his pension. This immediately has the effect of weakening this client’s bargaining position.
Essentially, if it concerns the case going through the courts simply say “Speak to your solicitor and get him to write to mine”. A final tip is do not send a text message/email/WhatsApp to your spouse that you would not be happy being read out in front of a judge. Presume that they will be used in evidence at some stage in the future.
Final Thoughts & Next Steps
In the end, divorce in Ireland is as much about the legalities as it is about personal resilience and strategic planning. The candid dialogue with your family law solicitor, guided by the practical questions we’ve outlined, will set the tone for your divorce proceedings. This process, while mandatory through Irish courts, doesn’t have to be a leap into the unknown. And if you need a Family Law Solicitor to ask these questions to, please feel free to get in touch.
